i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
