Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
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answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
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So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
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