your thong is hanging out like whoa
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
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