dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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