i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
