Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
Randomize
