Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
