i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
