I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Randomize
