I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
Randomize
