: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize
