dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
You smell like a Billy Joel song
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
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how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
My bed is full of blood and feathers
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
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Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
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