He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
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