Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
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