google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Randomize
