@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
I party with great urgency now.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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