apparently the secret to your success is patron
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
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