I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Randomize
