hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
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