It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
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