Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(757): View more from Virginia

im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?

(804): View more from Virginia

who says it cant be both...

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(513): View more from Ohio

i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.

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(651): View more from Minnesota

The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.

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(214): View more from Texas

Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"

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Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
Read it at the TFLN blog
(608): View more from Wisconsin

I am too young to be this hungover

(262): View more from Wisconsin

Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?

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(219): View more from Indiana

N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..

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(318): View more from Louisiana

I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.

(504): View more from Louisiana

Coming.

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(913): View more from Kansas

I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!

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(479): View more from Arkansas

Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??

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