Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize
