It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.