its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.