Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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