I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.