He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
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I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
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Why is there bacon braided in my hair
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic