You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
These 25 People Believed Fake Facts For Way Too Long
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
23 Adults Confess The Irrational Fears They Had When They Were Kids
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.