I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
I have poison ivy on my dick
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.