You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
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