I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
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He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
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He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
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