I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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