do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
My life is pants optional.
Randomize