i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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