You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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