he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
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