I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Randomize
