New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
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