guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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