I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
Never joke about your clitoris.
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
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