this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Randomize