Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
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