STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
