the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
