omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
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When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
I think my moral compass just broke
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