You just made me feel so damn special
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
