Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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