Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
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