You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
Randomize
