3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
Randomize
