you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Randomize
