My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
Randomize
