its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
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