My sheets look like a crime scene.
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
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