Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
