If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize
