Kiss
Puke
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
my god I love twenty year old dicks
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
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