just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
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