Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Randomize
