so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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