dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
