Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
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