Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
Randomize
