ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
Randomize
