erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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