Me. At least after what I've been through.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Randomize